Ways to Help Your Parent Adjust to Assisted Living
There can be uncomfortable feelings when making the big decision of moving your parent into assisted living. You are not alone, whether you are struggling to decide if it is time for assisted living or if you are trying to work through your parent’s resistance. With a bit of preparation and much empathy, the transition may be a smoother one. Here’s how you can help your parent adjust to their new home.
1. Knowing When It’s Time for Assisted Living
Recognizing the proper time for assisted living is often a difficult decision for families. One may also raise the question of whether they need to go into an assisted living facility or possibly even a nursing home. In most cases, an individual will be a good candidate for assisted living if they need help with everyday activities like getting dressed, bathing, or taking their medicine but otherwise can maintain some level of self-reliance.
On the other hand, nursing homes tend to be more appropriate for people who require intensive medical care and constant supervision, which is often due to a serious medical condition or severe cognitive decline.
Examples of signs that it is perhaps time for an assisted-living environment are frequent falls, medication mismanagement, or difficulty in handling personal care tasks. If you notice any of these, it might be time for a conversation with your parent on the benefits of assisted living. After all, the goal really is to keep them safe, healthy, and living their best life; and often that can be better managed in an assisted living setting.
2. Packing for the Move Together
If you’ve decided that assisted living is the best option for your parent, it’s time to plan the move, a process best undertaken hand-in-hand with him or her. This can be a highly emotional process, but including your parent in the planning can be transformative. Start by looking at communities together. This not only will help them find a better fit but also, help your parent feel in more control of their future. Encourage your parents to express preferences about what they want for their new living space; this can help to alleviate some anxiety related to moving.
Parents with dementia need an extra hand of care to help them transition better. Do as much as you can to make the new living place look just like the former residence. Carry along their favorite items like pictures, furniture, and anything else they hold close to their hearts. This will help not to confuse them, and they won’t feel away from home that much.
It’s important to also maintain a routine within the first few days and weeks of moving. Having consistent meal times, activities, and visitation times is effective in aiding an easier time adjusting. Through support and involvement, you can help ensure a move to an assisted living facility for your parent becomes a positive experience.
3. Be Compassionate Toward Resistance
Older parents may find it difficult to leave their homes for an assisted living facility. It’s important to remember that this is unchartered territory for them. If your parent resists the idea, approach him or her with understanding, empathy, and compassion.
Begin by listening to their concerns in earnest. They might be afraid of losing their independence, being forgotten by family, or facing the unknown. Validating their feelings can make them feel heard and respected, something crucial to be done at such a sensitive point. Gently explain that in assisted living communities like Village Shalom, they will be safer, be supported by caring healthcare professionals, have an active social life, and get much of the help and support they need.
Emphasize the fact it does not take their freedom away; rather, it ensures they have the right support needed to continue enjoying life.
Sometimes a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or a senior care advisor, can help mediate the discussion. He may offer professional objectivity and assist in navigating the emotional components of the transition.
4. Help them in adjusting to the new environment
Moving your parent into assisted living isn’t over once all boxes are unpacked. The adjustment may take quite some time so you’ll need to continue to be supportive and realize that everyone adjusts at their own pace. For some, it might take just a few weeks to feel at home, but for others, this adjustment could continue for several months.
The most comfort they’ll feel during this time may likely be when family members come for a visit. They feel assured that they are not secluded and, with time, will get to know the environment better. Encourage your parent to engage in activities that go on within the community setting. Village Shalom prides itself in our many opportunities for our residents to stay involved and active, including fitness classes, world-class musical performances, cultural activities, happy hours, off-campus outings and more. Encouraging their participation can help them create new friendships and build up a sense of belonging.
As mentioned above, you can also help your parent feel more at home by personalizing their living space. Bringing in familiar items from their previous residence, whether family photos, favorite pieces of furniture, or cherished mementos, can also do wonders. The touch of them brings that feel to this apartment—that it’s really a part of their life and not so much a break from that life altogether.
If your parent is verbal about feeling unhappy or wants out, then you need to listen to his/her problem and resolve it with the staff. Sometimes little changes can make a lot of difference to their comfort and happiness. But remember, the key to helping them settle in their new home is your support and understanding.
5. Open and Reassuring in Communication
Communication is a great tool during the transition to assisted living.
How you tell your parent about the move can make a huge difference in their perspective on the whole affair. Be open, honest, and reassuring. Start with the benefits of assisted living: assure them that such a move is all about improving their quality of life, not about stripping them of their independence. Describe with empathy the benefits that will accrue to your parent from this move to a specialized care unit, such as memory care. Detail the way memory care offers support to their specific needs, from customized activities and care plans to enhancement in day-to-day living.
It’s important to keep the lines of communication open. Let your parent share their feelings, good or bad. Let them know that it’s all right to be unsure or even upset about what’s happening. Through an open dialogue, you can field any concerns that might come up and work together to find solutions.
Further, having regular contact through phone calls, video chatting, or physically meeting them will go a long way in assuring them that they are not alone in the process of this change. Your support and presence with them would make a lot of difference, helping them get along in their new home and feel more confident in their new place. Patience, understanding, and open communication in guiding them through this new chapter of life can really help your parent make a smoother and more comfortable adjustment.
